Fuck the "not all x" narrative

I am really tired of hearing people say "not all men"

2020 for a lot of people has been the Black Mirror year. Yet as far as I am concerned the craziest thing that happened this year is the global pandemic. Wanna know why I think so? Well, it is pretty simple, if you take out the pandemic, the other shit is what we have to live with every other day and I find that disheartening.

I would not pretend to understand racism and its effects, the extent of my knowledge is from reading Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates. A conversation today made me realize it is something I may never fully grasp.

What I do understand to an extent in fear.

I had a conversation today with someone who is red-pilled, and he was about to pull the “not all men” narrative—wait! I mean he did begin the narrative and I got so pissed. After a lengthy conversation that was not all that pleasant, I realized the problem is that most of us do not know how to draw parallels or even attempt to be empathetic when it comes to the pains of the oppressed.

A Black American steps out daily into a country that hates him because of the colour of his skin. Would be get shot today for being black by some retard father and his son? Would some racist meathead do something to fuck up his day? Would a white racist woman block him for entering his apartment because she thinks he is a burglar and cannot afford to live in there? Oh assuming he got back home and somehow manages to survive the day, would he wake up to hear the next day that his sister was shot in her sleep by the police?

A Nigerian woman is born, she is a few months old, is today the day she gets raped? She somehow manages to survive that ordeal and is now a teenager and has to run errands for her mother, while wondering if she would get sexually harassed in the market today. Every bloody day is her wondering if she would be raped by an uncle, a teacher, a pastor, cousin, thug or any random man on the street. Say she survives all that and decides to go read in the church, in the presence of God, is she going to get raped and killed in the church? Or would she get harassed by her boss or co-workers in the office? Perhaps she’d have to endure the unpleasant touches of her Choir MD.

Nowhere is safe for the Black American—nowhere is safe for the Nigerian woman. They constantly have to live in fear with each passing day, fear of being, accused falsely, fear of their future being destroyed, fear of being raped, fear of being killed…a whole shit storm of fear. This is their reality.

This breaks my heart and pisses me off, but do you want to know what pisses me off more? The “not all x” idiots.

“Not all cops are bad”

“Not all men are rapist”

Are you this dense or is it a full moon? How in God’s Holy name do you think it is an appropriate thing to say to people who’s reality is fear, pain and anguish? People who have been raped, killed and have their lives destroyed?

So fuck “All lives matter”, because you fools only bring it up when another Black person has been killed unjustly. Fuck “not all men…”—“men get raped too” because for some reason that is beyond me you idiots with your fragile egos only remember men get violated when women are speaking. FFS, do better!

If you still cannot relate, I live in fear, although mine is not near as bad as what these people go through I live in fear of the Nigerian Police. They rob and kill and extort from innocent people. Last year when I visited Lagos, I could not move without fear, I deleted all my bank apps and I took the BRT when I had to move to the Island, if you know what I look like you’d know my hair is basically like a homing beckon for the idiots. Which also means it is something I can control, I can cut my hair and beards and my fear would drop by 90% because I’d look like a chubby 16-year-old which the police would most probably ignore. Alas, the black man can’t change his skin colour, the same goes for being a woman, she cannot just stop being a woman (sadly same goes for the female toddler).

The American society is designed to oppress the black man, there is no evidence to prove otherwise. Our society in Nigeria is designed to oppress the woman and normalize the culture of rape, again, no evidence to prove otherwise.

I would not make suggestions on how America can be fixed, I have not been there and I do not have any desire to visit a land where they killed off the inhabitants and brought in slaves to build up.

What I can do is make suggestions on how Nigeria can be fixed and safer. The buck stops at the table of leadership. Actions should have clear consequences and the only way to enforce this is a judicial system that works, a well-paid police force that would not have to rob us to make ends meet and funding all forms of education and campaigns that teaches what consent is, to everyone, young and old.

Sigh, I am tired and this has been a long week.

So I would just recap,




Black Lives Matter people!

Stop raping women.


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